


Falling Leaves of Red and Gold

by nonisland



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Comment Fic, Community: hooked_on_heroines, F/F, Podfic Available, Regret, Season/Series 04-05 Hiatus, Wistful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-10
Updated: 2014-01-10
Packaged: 2018-01-08 04:07:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1128138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonisland/pseuds/nonisland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Autumn is the worst time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falling Leaves of Red and Gold

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for the prompt “Gwen/Morgana - _but I miss you most of all, my darling / when autumn leaves start to fall_ ” at **[dollsome](http://dollsome.livejournal.com)** 's [ Autumn (2012) Commentficathon](http://dollsome.livejournal.com/1836031.html), and also for #18 (“Alone”) of the [Women Are Awesome prompt table](http://hooked-on-heroines.dreamwidth.org/6989.html) from [](http://hooked-on-heroines.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**hooked_on_heroines**](http://hooked-on-heroines.dreamwidth.org/). The title, like the prompt text, is from Eva Cassidy’s “Autumn Leaves”.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Should you find something, whilst reading one of my stories, that offends you/is incorrect/could offend others/is in any way problematic, please please _please_ do not hesitate to tell me. I will never spew hate at you, I will never attack you, and I will _always_ thank you for taking the time to let me know.

Autumn drowns Morgana’s forest in Camelot’s colors, a stifling fire-brightness she once loved but that now only speaks of pain. She doesn’t miss Merlin; she will not miss Arthur.

She wakes up cold and alone in the middle of the lengthening nights.

She misses Gwen.

Sometimes she thinks of stealing Gwen away, tearing the crown Arthur put on Gwen’s head off and melting it down, keeping Gwen—Gwen who was always the sweetest part of her days even when her days were filled with fear and lies and fury—forever to herself.

(In springtime the ground is carpeted with violets, and the brooks melt and chortle, and Morgana knows the places where the does go to fawn. Gwen would like that, Gwen would smile at the huge-eyed fawns and laugh at their knobbly awkward legs, and Morgana misses her laughter like she misses running water at midwinter. Morgana would weave crowns of violets like she did when they were younger and nothing hurt, and Gwen would accept them from her: Gwen would still need nothing more than what Morgana can give her, and Morgana would still be able to give her only gentleness.)

But Gwen is in Camelot, and Camelot is walled and guarded, and Gwen chose Arthur, Gwen chose Gaius and Merlin, Gwen will never understand that she betrayed Morgana first.

Morgana will never tell her.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic of] Falling Leaves of Red and Gold](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1194330) by [spaceelevator](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceelevator/pseuds/spaceelevator)




End file.
